I am not high upon your list
Of things that you are patient with
I am written down below
The inlaws and the pets
Our conversations don’t exist
And it’s all my fault you insist
‘Cause all you’ve been is good to me
And I’m the one who quit
You know how I get so upset
When your voice is firm as it can get
And still you rattle onward as if
I’m deaf to every word
Oh I bet you’d like to turn me ‘round
And smack my backside til it burns
Then you could assert yourself
As keeper of the keys
What is it that’s holding me back
From walking with my chin up past the doorman
What is it that’s keeping me here
What is it that’s keeping me near you
What is it that you said to me
I’ve got selfish generosity
That all I've ever done for you
Was just for my own gain
And that if you were to die today
I’d jump right back into play
Without as much as a second’s thought
No grief or remorse
What is it that’s holding me back
From walking with my chin up past the doorman
What is it that’s keeping me here
What is it that’s keeping me near you
I never understood the fact
That you loved me with these strings attached
And now I’m having nightmares
As I turn the other cheek
credits
from Doorman,
track released April 28, 2020
Kat McLevey - acoustic guitar & vox
Ira Klein - electric guitar
Niv Harnum - piano
Jacob Thompson - drums
Aaron Lawrence - acoustic guitar fx
Francesca Rijks - violin I
Jody Miller - violin II
Cecilia Vacanti - viola
Casey Murray - cello
Produced, engineered, and mixed by Abbey Lewis
Mastered by Philip Shaw Bova
Artwork by Adrienne McLaren
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